Till death us do part
Including: Penny wise . . .
Wicki-Yah reports: “In spite of his reputation, Harley Man is quite the homebody. Once he and his Harley get home from work, it is difficult to move him off the couch.
“Last night, I was able to appeal to his Mr. Cheap side (yes, there are actually several sub-species of man living in Harley’s body) and persuade him to go out for $4 Triple Double burgers at a well-known chain that was promoting them as their anniversary special. Three Triple Doubles, one small order of fries to share and three glasses of water, and the Harley family dined well on less than $15, including tax and gas.
“Then I pushed my luck and suggested we have dessert at the place with the 50-cent chocolate (and vanilla, but who wants that?) Frostys.
“Mr. Cheap and my favorite sub-species, the Sweets Guy, were intrigued, but Harley Man scoffed: ‘You mean, you are going to make me drive ALL THE WAY across town for that?’
“In the end, Mr. Cheap, the Sweets Guy and I won out.
“We arrived home, fully sated, having been out about 45 minutes and racking up six miles on the car round-trip (including the ‘across town’ side trip).
“As Mr. Cheap pocketed his change from a $20, Harley Man sighed with relief: ‘We’re home.’
“‘It’s good for you to get out of your comfort zone,’ I told him with a chuckle.
“And then there were these words: ‘That ate up half my night.’
“Mr. Couch Potato had entered the room.”
Now & Then
Please Release Me! Division
Gregory of the North: “We’ve been watching our grandchildren every morning this summer, and that means we have been exposed to ‘Paw Patrol’ on television. ‘Paw Patrol’ follows a group of puppies that regularly save a struggling adult who is in some sort of trouble. They have a carefully composed theme song that is made for young ears, but which drives us adults to distraction, and interjects an earworm that is almost impossible to exorcise.
“The other kids had their own contributions, of course. We’ve experienced ‘Rugrats,’ ‘Rocko’s Modern Life,’ and, worst of all, ‘Barney.’
“That got me wondering what my own parents had to endure. I decided it was ‘Howdy Doody.’ And of course, my peers and I had to adopt alternative lyrics. I don’t know whence they originated, but they came about shortly after Channel 9 began broadcasting. I should mention thatChannel 9 was not associated with a network at the time, so they played a lot of old movies, often those from the 1930s and the 1940s. So, with that background, I give you the alternate lyrics to ‘It’s Howdy Doody Time’:
“It’s Howdy Doody time
“And it ain’t worth a dime
“So turn to Channel 9
“And we’ll watch Frankenstein.
“There were other verses to it, but this is all I remember. I’m sure many others of a certain age will recall these words, and perhaps more. The original ‘Howdy Doody’ song (from 1947) is found at the link below.
“Thank you for keeping Bulletin Board alive!”
BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: You’re most welcome.
Couldn’t/can’t do it without you-all.
Gee, our old La Salle ran great!
Radio Days Division
Booklady writes: “Bloomington Bird Lady brought back memories of my favorite radio program, ‘Let’s Pretend.’ If I remember correctly, it was on Saturday mornings. I felt I could live in the well-told stories, and my favorite, ‘Princess Moonbeam,’ led to one of the gravest disappointments of my young life.
“With earnest enthusiasm, I went to my mother and informed her that when I grew up, I was going to be Japanese. (Mind you, I have no idea whether Princess Moonbeam was Japanese, Chinese or Korean, but I picked Japanese because my grandma’s brother had sent me a print of Japanese children buying goldfish, and I was enamored of that as well.)
“Mom informed me that becoming Japanese was not an option, and after much drama and many tears, I revised my goals: When I grew up, I would have red hair like the girl down the block had. I never acted on that dream, either.
“Maybe someone else remembers a ‘Let’s Pretend’ storybook. I don’t think I dreamed it!”
Our birds, ourselves
Doris G. of Randolph, Minnesota, reports: “Subject: Bluebird babies playing on our old split-rail fence.
“We really enjoyed watching the bluebird babies playing on the fence. They seemed to like going back and forth through the holes.”
Throw the cow over the fence some hay! (responsorial)
Semi-Legend writes: “I’m not sure why, but the image did not reproduce in my Web browser for this item:
“‘Throw the cow over the fence some hay!
“‘Rancid Beef of South St. Paul reports: “Subject: Throw the cow over the (really small) moon.
“‘I ran across this sponsored news item last year on Yahoo’s home page.
“‘Sadly, I didn’t follow the clickbait, so I can’t report on what it was that landed on the Chicago-sized moon.’
“I’m sure, as BB would put it, I’m not the only one.”
BULLETIN BOARD REPORTS: You are not the only one. We had the same issue on our desktop computer, our tablet and our cellphone.
Here’s what the “SPONSORED” headline on the Yahoo page said: “Massive Object Landed On Moon The Size Of Chicago.”
Raindancer of North Oaks writes: “Subject: Holey slackers.
“joegolfer poses an interesting question with his [Bulletin Board interjects: or, of course, her] ‘find’ in his town’s local newspaper.
“The ad with the worn(out) trousers had to be a joke by somebody who’s bemused by the holey pants for which department stores charge big bucks. That’s hilarious.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if a clever editor did it to enliven the page, to get readers to pay attention. Let us know if similar ads appear in the future, joegolfer?”
The Hat People
Or: Know thyself! (responsorial)
Writes The Hastings Crazy Quilter: “I want to comment on Norton’s mom of Eau Claire, Wisconsin, saying she needs to wear a hat (to designate she is a not-so-great driver) because she forgot to turn off her turn signal. She goes on to say maybe she’ll get a Carmen Miranda-style hat.
“First of all, thank you for USING your turn signal! Your leaving it on a bit too long is an indication of how busy our modern life is and something everyone does at one time or another.
“Your wanting a Carmen Miranda hat, however, proves you are an extraordinary woman, one who recognizes accomplishment.
“When I was younger, I took tap-dancing lessons for many years. There was a saying amongst the female tap dancers: Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels.
“Well, Carmen Miranda did it with huge hats on her head! All that produce up there had to have affected her balance, but she danced and smiled and sang her way into American film history. She was unique and much imitated, but never equaled.”
Band Name of the Day: The Carmen Mirandas
Website of the Day: