Author: Bulletin Board

Out of the mouths of babes
Including: The vision thing

Zoo Lou of St. Paul writes: “Subject: Words of Wisdom.

“As I was reading the submissions to the Sunday Pioneer Press (11-21-21) by area first-graders on what they were thankful for, I imagined a Norman Rockwell painting depicting a classroom of eager little scholars pouring their hearts and souls into their short literary masterpieces.

Continue reading “‘I am thankful for my big brane, because if we did not have a big brane we wood be dumb’”

Our livestock, ourselves

DebK of Rosemount reports: “It’s grief, I suppose, that has kept me from writing about the departure of Clarence, the Exuberant, from the ram pasture of St. Isidore Farm. A month has passed since Clarence, the first lamb I ever helped deliver, was wrestled into a horse trailer for his relocation to a sheep operation near New Prague, where after a difficult day or two he continues seeing — reportedly with exuberance — to the future of his species.

Continue reading “Ram dossier: Clarence, the Exuberant, turns out to be Clarence, the Gymnastic!”

The Permanent Family Record

Writes The Gram With a Thousand Rules: “Subject: Pneumonia, Tight Shoes and The Battle Over the Hen & the Rooster.

Continue reading ““Mothers are bigger than fathers. Everyone knows that.””

“Art” imitates “life”
Sitcom Division

Zoo Lou of St. Paul: “Subject: The Best Birthday Present Ever.

“Imagine you are an intelligent, well-mannered young man in a popular late- ’50s/early-’60s sitcom (hint: It’s not Eddie Haskell) who is celebrating his 17th birthday. Now, what present from your younger brother would make you flip, to speak in the vernacular of the peasantry like Professor Marvel in ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ and say ‘Neat!’?

Continue reading “What 17-year-old boy wouldn’t be thrilled with a gift of hankies? Which one pronounced them “Neat!”?”

Come again?

Another episode of creative hearing, reported by The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “Subject: Not smarter than . . .

“After her trip to the post office, my wife informed me: ‘I bought some Yogi Bear stamps.’

Continue reading “Did she really say she’d bought some Yogi Bear stamps? Or was that her husband’s Boo Boo?”