How long have the Twins been in Minnesota? Since 50 cents would buy you a yearbook. (And OK, you smart-alecks, you’re right: They’ve never been anywhere else!)

The highfalutin diversions (Virtual Jigsaw Puzzles Division) (responsorial)
Or: Now & Then

The REF in White Bear Lake:Poet X of PDX‘s Killebrew puzzle on Jigidi reminded me to dig out the Twins’ 1961 Yearbook (cover price: just 50 cents) in anticipation of this season’s 57th Twins home opener  on April 3 this year.

 

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“The yearbook’s a fun trip down memory lane, as the team and its established (Washington) stars are introduced to their new fan base. One could purchase upcoming game tickets by mailing vast sums of money to ‘Ticket Office, Metropolitan Stadium, Bloomington 20, Minn.’ Doesn’t say a word about service charges or handling fees!”

Our times
Including: Our livestock, ourselves

DebK of Rosemount: “Credit-card purchases tell the world too much about us. It’s making me nervous. Not that there isn’t an upside to these algorithms (a word that brings back long- and happily repressed memories of Calculus I) that track every move we make. I was quite pleased, in fact, when our credit-card company quickly detected fraudulent use of our account. Turns out that the culprit, having exhausted herself in the effort to swipe my credit-card information, felt the need for a day at a San Antonio spa. Bingo! I can almost hear the excitement in the Visa fraud office. ‘Pull the plug on that card, guys! Ol’ DebK doesn’t do spas. Or Texas.’ (Not that I mind that others do, of course.)

“The latest evidence that I’m being followed too closely has to do with the distressingly early arrival of this year’s lamb crop. Taxman and I planned carefully to have the babies arrive in late April — a week or so after tax filing deadline and well after perilous cold had departed the scene. Alas, one of last April’s boy lambs failed to consult that master plan, catapulted over the fence separating rams from ewes and . . . did the deed with every single one of our ewes, including his very close female relatives. On its face, this was a very unsavory business, but it led to worse: a nightmarish February in which Taxman (as available) and I struggled to save babies from the elements, going so far as to board tiny triplets in the mudroom, which now qualifies as a Superfund site. But back to my point: Saturday’s mail included a catalog from Premier 1 Sheep Supplies, the outfit that promptly responded to my orders for emergency lambing supplies when the ewes started delivering a couple of weeks back. This handsome publication features a mama goat and her baby (both properly confined) and the title ‘Fences That Work.'”

Month at a glance

Our customary first-of-the-monthly report from The Stillwater Scouter: “March is Mad for Plaid Month, National Kite Month, and Sing With Your Child Month.

“It also has Return The Borrowed Books Week, World Folktales & Fables Week, and American Crossword Puzzles Week.

“There is little chance someone wearing plaid will be singing with their son while flying a kite after returning a borrowed crossword puzzle book with a fable theme.

“On March 3, 1791, the U.S. Congress passed a resolution that created the U.S. Mint.

“Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, Massachusetts, on March 4, 1634.

“On March 5, 1624, the upper class was exempted from whipping by legislation in the American colony of Virginia.

“The state of New York, on March 8, 1894, enacted the first animal-control law in the U.S when it required dog licenses.

“On March 9, 1745, the first carillon was shipped from England to Boston, Massachusetts.

“On the morning of March 11, 1918, Private Albert Gitchell of the U.S. Army reported to the hospital at Fort Riley, Kansas. He had cold-like symptoms of sore throat, fever and headache. By noon, more than 100 other soldiers had joined him. The disease spread globally and was dubbed ‘The Spanish Flu,’ after 8 million deaths were reported following the initial outbreak there in May. Thirty-one thousand cases were reported in June in Great Britain. The flu would eventually kill 675,000 Americans with another 20 to 40 million around the world.

“On March 19, 1831, the first bank robbery in America was reported. The City Bank of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery.

“New Orleans, Louisiana, suffered a fire that destroyed 856 of the city’s 1,100 structures on March 21, 1788.

“On March 23, 1839, the first recorded printed use of ‘OK’ occurred in Boston’s Morning Post. It was a joke that took hold. Young smart-alecky whippersnappers had taken to misspelling ‘all correct’ as ‘oll korrect’ and then abbreviating that. Think in terms of street slang.

“The colony Virginia passed the first American game law on March 24, 1629.

“March 25, 1911, was the day of the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire in New York City. This may be worth looking up if you have an opinion on working conditions, or OSHA, or unions . . . or not.

“On March 27, 1884, the first long-distance telephone call was made from Boston to New York.*

“On March 29, 1848, Niagara Falls stopped flowing for one day because of an ice jam.

“Abigail Adams wrote to her husband, John, on March 31, 1776, to tell him that if the new Declaration of Independence failed to guarantee women their rights, women were ‘determined to foment a rebellion.’

“* Not only does The Scouter remember telephone landlines and telephone booths/pay phones, he remembers carrying rolls of quarters for long-distance pay phone calls home to his fiancée.”

The vision thing
Plus: Fun facts to know and tell (responsorial) (responsorial)

In Tuesday’s Bulletin Board, we asked our Official Geologist, Rock Doc of River Falls, Wisconsin, to weigh in on the stone Honey Bee of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, believed to be an “omar stone,” based on Rock Doc‘s description in this past Saturday’s Bulletin Board.

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Tuesday morning, we heard again from Rock Doc: “I agree that Honey Bee of Chippewa Falls has an excellent omar stone. Even though they aren’t that common, they look so odd that folks often pick them up.

“It is good that the chipmunks appreciate it, too.”

Know thyself!
Or: Could be verse!

Eos: “I DO NOT like to cook.

“I’d rather read a book,

“or hike behind a waterfall

“to get a better look.

“I’d rather climb my family tree,

“or golf, or look for rocks.

“I’d even rather wash the clothes,

“or hunt for missing socks.

“I’d rather walk through graveyards,

“camera in hand,

“or walk the beach in Florida,

“my toes dug in the sand.

“‘What’s WRONG with her?’

“I hear you say.

“‘Her sense she hath FORSOOK!’

“It’s really very simple.

“I DO NOT like to cook.”

Know thy music! Know thyself!
The One & Only Division? (responsorial)

Twitty of Como: “Poet X of PDX surmised (2/25) that his eclectic list of musicians and concerts attended — which, if I counted right, exceeded 40 in number — might be unmatched (by less than half) by others interested in such.

“I know BB isn’t a contest, but as someone with an eclectic taste in music myself, my curiosity was piqued.

“So I counted up my own list of concerts attended and was happy to see I’m in rarefied air, apparently: Not only have I seen MORE than half the names on his list; I’ve seen a good number of concerts NOT on his list!

“And I don’t even consider myself an avid concert-goer.

“Always interesting to learn something new about oneself.

“What do I win?”

BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: Self-awareness will have to suffice.

This ‘n’ that

The PaPeach: “Musical eclecticism: interesting terminology. I’ve always said it was easier to list the types of music I don’t like. That would be thrash metal: the stuff that sounds like someone is torturing a poor cat in the same room with someone throwing flatware down a garbage disposal. My eclecticism runs from Billy Joel to Billy Idol, George Winston to George Strait, Piano Guys to Pentatonix. Dan Seals (brother of Dash Seals of Seals & Crofts, another favorite) had a wonderful, smooth voice — and I agree: He left this world too soon.

“On a nature-y note: I was on my way to the grocery store this afternoon, and just a few houses down from mine I saw a streak fly across the street and land in a driveway. A hawk (don’t know which kind) had chased down and caught a cardinal! I know some birds can be cannibals (my friend has a macaw that loves chicken wings!) but it just seems wrong . . . there’s gotta be some chippies out somewhere! [Bulletin Board says: As far as we know, they’re still hibernating around here.]

“Ah, well . . . off to the wilds of Orlando tomorrow . . . so VERY glad BB is so easy to keep after now! Thank you!”

BULLETIN BOARD REQUESTS: Tell your Orlando friends about it! The more, the merrier. Thank you.

A thought for today
Or: There, but for the grace of God . . . 

Kathy S. of St. Paul: “If you are having a bad day, just remember this: You had nothing to do with handling the envelopes at the Academy Awards.”

Band Name of the Day: Cannibal Birds

Website of the Day:

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