“Mothers are bigger than fathers. Everyone knows that.”

The Permanent Family Record

Writes The Gram With a Thousand Rules: “Subject: Pneumonia, Tight Shoes and The Battle Over the Hen & the Rooster.

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What 17-year-old boy wouldn’t be thrilled with a gift of hankies? Which one pronounced them “Neat!”?

“Art” imitates “life”
Sitcom Division

Zoo Lou of St. Paul: “Subject: The Best Birthday Present Ever.

“Imagine you are an intelligent, well-mannered young man in a popular late- ’50s/early-’60s sitcom (hint: It’s not Eddie Haskell) who is celebrating his 17th birthday. Now, what present from your younger brother would make you flip, to speak in the vernacular of the peasantry like Professor Marvel in ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ and say ‘Neat!’?

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Did she really say she’d bought some Yogi Bear stamps? Or was that her husband’s Boo Boo?

Come again?

Another episode of creative hearing, reported by The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “Subject: Not smarter than . . .

“After her trip to the post office, my wife informed me: ‘I bought some Yogi Bear stamps.’

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“What Do You Mean We Live on the Outside of the Earth?”

Live and learn!
Or: Inside a young mind

From The Gram With a Thousand Rules: “Subject: What Do You Mean We Live on the Outside of the Earth?

“We were sitting on the steps leading down to our sidewalk, the first time I ever remember thinking my mother thought I was a real person rather than a baby. My siblings were playing in the street, and I was sitting on Mother’s lap waiting for Daddy to come home for supper. It was a hazy day, and I could see the sun filtered by the clouds, and on the other side of the sky I could see the moon rising. I looked at Mama and said: ‘The sun and the moon and your eyes all look like the same size.’ She gave me a big squeeze and said: ‘You are a smart little girl.’ I never did figure out why she thought that, but what I do know is: That was the moment when my love for astronomy began.

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