Norm! What are you up to, Norm?

This ‘n’ that ‘n the other (responsorial)
Or: The great comebacks (Norm! Division)

Friendly Bob of Fridley: “I always enjoy the brief but apt observations from Al B of Hartland.

“This recent example — ‘I’ve learned . . . there are few things rarer than people who are at their ideal weight’ — reminded me of an episode of ‘Cheers.’

“Those of us addicted to reruns we have seen many times will recognize that in many episodes, Norm Peterson enters the bar, announces ‘Afternoon, everybody,’ and is greeted with a loud chorus of ‘Norm!’ Usually Norm has another pithy remark ready when one of the bartenders (usually Coach or Woody) has some sort of greeting for him. I can’t remember for sure whether it was Coach or Woody who greeted him once with ‘What are you up to, Norm?’ or ‘What are you up to, Mr. Peterson?’

“Norm’s response: ‘My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall!”’

BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: Turns out Norm said, on that particular occasion, “Morning, everyone,” and it was Sam Malone who asked the question:

The Permanent Family Record (responsorial) (responsorial)

Cheries D of IGH: “Lawyergirl of St. Paul’s response to ‘I Found Grandma’ is a fun story. Thank you for sharing!

“I have a follow-up to my first story about finding my grandma’s ashes. I just learned from my brother that our mom has another container of ashes in her home. This time it’s the ashes of her beloved kitty. But wait, there’s more. While Grandma’s ashes were tucked into a dark corner of the bedroom, the kitty’s ashes are in a prime location, on top of the mantel in the living room.

“Huh?”

Everyone’s a copy editor
Or: It just don’t add up!

The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “Subject: Check the math.

“The July 20th Sports section of the STrib carried a feature on Jim Kaat prior to his introduction into the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

“On Page C4 was a list of Kaat’s accomplishments during his ’25-season career in the majors . . .’

“This was one of the categories in the list:

“’27’

“‘Kaat went 27 years between World Series appearances, pitching in the Fall Classic in 1965 for the Twins and 1982 for St. Louis.’

“That has to be the shortest 27 years in history.”

Vanity, thy name is . . .

Red’s Offspring, north of St. Paul: “I received a photo of a personalized Maine plate from my brother-in-law in Connecticut.”

The vision thing (responsorial)

Dennis from Eagan: “Subject: Same crap, different day.

“Congrats to Wayne Nelson of Forest Lake for the excellent ‘smoking toilet’ gag played on his wife.

” You can now graduate with honors and celebrate the occasion by eating an appropriate cake from Walmart!

“LOL.”

Our theater of seasons

Mounds View Swede: “Subject: Six great iPhotos.

“I brought my camera with on a recent visit to Lake Owasso, to see how things were looking midsummer. Large masses of lily pads were on the west side of the lake.

“There were some blooming plants near the shore.

“And the thistles were busy making the seeds ready to float away to find new places to grow.

“This mass of blooms belonged to a large plant of some sort.

“And a lone Monarch butterfly was visiting blossoms.

“I have not seen many of the Monarchs this year, but was glad to see the few I’ve seen.”

Dept. of Neat Stuff
Gyroscope Division

Gregory J. of Dayton’s Bluff: “John in Highland recently told us about his dad, Ed, who was an engineer in the Aerospace Division at Honeywell, bringing home a working model of a gyroscope to show his kids.

“My dad, Joe, who was a chemist at the Toni Co. and had absolutely nothing to do with aerospace, did the same thing, sort of.

“Dad would sometimes go on business trips and always brought home little gifts for my brother and me. Although I was too young to realize it at the time, those gifts were usually Neat Stuff, some of which I’ve already written about. After one of these trips, he gave us a toy gyroscope.

“This gyroscope was basically what John in Highland described, but stripped to its absolutely simplest form. Toy gyroscopes have been around for over 100 years. This particular one is at least 60 years old, but with the addition of a few drops of 3-IN-ONE oil, it works just like it did when it was new — even if it does look a little worse for wear. It has a wheel about 2 inches in diameter, mounted in a frame so it can spin. It comes with a small plastic stand for support. Spinning the wheel is accomplished by threading a string through a hole in the upper spindle, carefully wrapping the string around the spindle, and then yanking it away as fast as possible.

“Placing the gyroscope on the stand, or on a pencil tip, finger, string or a sharp edge of some kind will demonstrate the basic gyroscopic principles. It is fun to watch but very difficult to photograph.

“It appears to defy gravity, which it does not, except when astronauts play with one on the International Space Station — strictly for educational purposes, of course. There are a number of YouTube videos that show toy gyroscopes in action much better than my still photos do.”