Our pets, ourselves
The Astronomer of Nininger: “Subject: Do Dogs Read Your Mind?
“They say that the Twin Cities has more people who leave during the winter than any other departure point in the United States. When winter gets long and cold, you want warmth and comforting relaxation, and going south, even for a short duration, makes sense.
“The Good Wife and I are no different from the throngs of people who went somewhere this past winter to escape the grip of winter. We flew to the Bahamas to visit the Good Wife’s brother John and his wife, Leo.
“We were going for only a week, so packing was not a big thing: shorts, swimsuits and other warm-weather clothing which would not be required here in the land of the frozen north for another four months or so. As usual, we packed at the last minute.
“You know how sometimes your pets can sense, based on clues presented to them in various ways, the fact that you will be leaving them, even for a short time? Our Weimaraner, Harper, is a master at suggesting that she can read your mind and understand whatever you might plan to do. She rides with us locally on many of our errands run in our automobiles. She has her own seat cover for the back of the Good Wife’s car and for my pickup as well. Often she comes to the mud room, which is connected to the garage, and will physically perch herself on our shoes so we cannot leave without her.
“This time, while we were packing to go to the Bahamas, the suitcases and travel bags must have indicated our absence for a more extended time. She started hanging around the Good Wife and acted almost like the proverbial shadow, seemingly attached to every movement. The Good Wife said kiddingly to Harper that she could not come with us unless she could fit in a suitcase. When the Good Wife turned around, here is what she saw.”
Radio Days (cont).
The Gram With a Thousand Rules concludes her series of Radio Days memoirs: “When I came to work that June day on my 21st birthday, wearing a diamond ring, we were prepared for whatever repercussions might follow our workplace romance. Before we could formally inform our boss of our impending marriage, he came into my office and handed me a book, titled ‘Household Hints,’ saying with a smile: ‘I think you may find this useful in the near future.’ Whew!
“We planned to get married in August, since both of our vacations were scheduled for that month. I had two weeks coming, while he had three, so I requested a third week of absence with no pay, and it was granted. My co-workers gave me a wedding shower, and our boss and his wife and all but the engineer and the announcer on duty attended our wedding. I had a moment of panic on the morning of my wedding when I woke up to hear, on my bedside radio, the announcement that our entire audience was invited to our wedding that afternoon. The announcer even gave the time of day and the location of the church, thinking it would be a hilarious joke to have great numbers of our listening audience showing up at the church door. No worries; as I have mentioned before, we worked for a very small radio station with a correspondingly very small audience.
“When we returned from our honeymoon and picked up our paychecks, I found that my requested leave of absence had turned into a paid week — with a retroactive raise, to boot. That was the good news. The bad news for us was that the station was being automated, and my husband, as the engineer with the shortest tenure, was going to be working overtime during the conversion, working himself out of a job. Our Radio Days story was coming to a close, and television was in our future.
“By our first anniversary, my husband was celebrating his sixth month of employment at a television station, and I was awaiting the birth of the oldest of our eventual family of six children. We were living in our cottage at the lake and saving to buy ourselves a telescope. Love of kids and astronomy had brought us together. It was in the stars.”
In memoriam
Organizationally Challenged of Highland Park: “Subject: Flag over Highland.
“This flag was suspended over the Highland Bridge development during the Memorial Day weekend.
“It was beautiful on a sunny morning.”
Keeping your eyes open
OG Fox reports: “I thought I would pass along a picture of one of the new members of the neighborhood.
“Mrs. Fox seems to be very adept at spotting these newborns as she walks through our woods. Since seeing this little one, we have seen a set of twins and one other single in our little woodlot. Doc will have some new friends to play with soon.”
Gee, our old La Salle ran great!
John in Highland writes: “Subject: Tommy Beanie?
“I found this beanie in the bottom of an odds and ends (junk) drawer. I assume that it was from my alma mater, the College of St. Thomas, although the school color today is purple, not green.
“When I started at CST in the late ’60s, an onerous task given to incoming freshmen was that they had to wear a purple beanie while on the campus. The purpose was to identify them for harassment from the upperclassmen.
“Luckily, within a week or so, most of us realized that without the beanie, we were not identifiable as freshmen, and the hazing stopped.”
Our times
Kathy S. of St. Paul writes: “A bookcase should be a bookcase.
“Instead of a blank screen, people seem to use bookshelves as backgrounds for videos and online zoom calls. However, they don’t seem to actually use them for books; interior decorators have precise formulae for the placement of various objects — and occasionally books — on them. Which means people might not feel they can read the books, because ambiances would be messed with. The books are to be seen and not heard.
“Bah, humbug! I cram my bookshelves full and read my books. So there! Let’s liberate the books!
“They have nothing to lose but their pages — and dust.”
Joy of Juxtaposition
Comics Page Division
Semi-Legend reports: “My page-a-day ‘Pearls Before Swine’ calendar had this groaner for May 26 (published originally on the date in 2020):
“The next day, I tore it off and showed it to my wife.
“Hours later, I read that day’s ‘Brevity’ cartoon in the Pioneer Press.”
Badvertising
Today’s nomination has arrived, from OTD from NSP: “Subject: Dumb TV ad.
“I don’t watch a lot of TV. I prefer reading. I mainly watch news and TPT, so I don’t see a lot of ads.
“There is one ad that, to me, is just stupid. People are getting rid of their stepladders because they have put in a new gutter system, so gutter cleaning is no longer needed.
“Don’t they change the battery in smoke detectors? Wash walls? Paint walls? Get something down from highest shelf in cabinet? Change bulb in outside light? Change direction of ceiling fans? Do other household chores where they need extra height?
“I realize that at 5-foot-3 I am on the short side. I have several height stools, and I have a stepladder — even though I do have a gutter system that you don’t have to clean.”
Everyone’s a copy editor/critic!
Headline Division
The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “Subject: Clever headline.
“After New York hit three home runs for a total of six runs against the Twins last Tuesday night, this was the headline on the front page of the Sports section in Wednesday’s Pioneer Press: ‘HOMER YANKEES.’”
The sign on the road to the cemetery said “Dead End”
Red’s Offspring, north of St. Paul: “Subject: To the point.
“The sign in the laundry room states:
“‘be nice
“‘or leave’”
Band Name of the Day: The Green Beanies
Bulletin Board 