We’re gonna win, Twins! He’s gonna snore! . . .
The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills reports: “Subject: I snooze … they win!
“I have discovered a secret formula that might lead to an undefeated season for the Twins. The final phase of the experiment took place yesterday during the season opener, and it was an unqualified success. Here is the formula:
“(1) Watch until the Twins have at least two baserunners. (Yesterday, in the bottom of the 7th, the Twins had runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out.)
“(2) Fall asleep for as long as necessary. (I dozed off with the two runners in scoring position.)
“(3) Wake up when the game is almost over. (I woke up to see the final out — a grounder to short.)
“Now, I can’t guarantee that the Twins will finish 162-0, because I might not be able to watch every game, and there might be times I’m watching and unable to nod off (being at Target Field, or in the company of someone else), but I’ll do my best to replicate the final phase of the experiment as often as I can.
Now & Then
Another report from The REF in White Bear Lake: “From the 1946 St. Paul Saints program:
“Unless it was a mere typo, either beer was unavailable at Lexington Ball Park or — like the lobster at Johnny Mauer’s — was ‘market price’: ‘If you have to ask….’”
The Permanent Sisterly/Brotherly Record
Monday email from The Journalist’s Daughter: “Subject: Baseball. Basketball, and a Brother.
“My parents and big brother moved to Minnesota when World War II ended. My brother and dad followed the Brooklyn Dodgers on the radio. Jackie Robinson was the man to follow. On a trip out East to see historic sites, my family went to Ebbets Field. The Dodgers moved to California in 1958, and my brother still cheered them on.
“When the Minnesota Twins started, our family became fans and my brother covered them for the United Press. When my brother and his family moved to California, he loved to go to the Los Angeles Dodger games. My sister moved to Southern California and became an Angel fan.
“The Twins won today, my brother’s Dodgers won today, and I’m watching the score of the Angel game. If my brother were living, I’m sure we would tease my sister about how our teams won and her Angels are losing in the top of the 7th inning. [Bulletin Board notes: The Angels lost to the Oakland Athletics, 4-2.]
“My brother played basketball in seventh and eighth grades. He loved to watch high school and the University of Minnesota teams. As I watched North Carolina win tonight, I thought it was interesting that March Madness ended on Opening Day. There is always a sport to watch or listen to that reminds me of him.”
Gaining something in translation
Or: CAUTION! Words at Play!
Semi-Legend: “Our neighborhood wine bar served a dessert called ‘clafoutis,’ a baked French dessert with fruit, and we wondered how to pronounce it. It appears the proper way is to emphasize the last syllable: ‘kla-foo-TEE.’
“The word seems adaptable to an English usage. My wife, after a minor mishap, declared: ‘I’m feeling a bit klafooty,’ stressing the middle syllable. Worked perfectly.”
Our theater of seasons
Or: Ah, the smell of it! (responsorial)
Dolly Dimples: “I’m probably one in a thousand who likes the smell of skunk — in moderation.
“Many years ago, my son-in-law managed to somehow obtain a supply of skunk oil, or whatever the fluid was. (Do they sell that stuff in sports stores?) It was Christmas Eve, and we were opening presents before going to a candlelight service at church. It was my turn to open a gift. I was given a lovely wrapped box to open. Inside was a pretty little perfume bottle. ‘There’s no label on the bottle. I wonder what fragrance this is,’ I thought. All the family was watching me as I pulled off the bottle top and took a deep breath. Parfum de Skunk walloped me and took my breath away. Everyone was laughing, or should I say ‘hooting.’
“It was no joke to me, because it made me sick and I didn’t get to the candlelight service at church.
“In spite of having that horrible experience, I still enjoy a wisp of skunk odor when I experience it in the woods or while driving. Probably I’m one in a thousand, right?”
Jim Shumaker of New Richmond, Wisconsin, has sent us another picture of “Male and Female Blue Herons, Interstate State Park, Wisconsin.
“I hope your readers enjoy this beautiful bird!”
Our theater of seasons
Charlotte of Inver Grove Heights: “Subject: Spring sighting.
“This past Saturday, I walked out of my house and scared a duck off our roof — so yesterday (Monday) I put out the wading pool for them. Within 10 minutes, the pair of ducks were eating off the ground by the bird feeders and swimming in the pool.
“As the days get hotter, I welcome dogs to drink from the pool, too.”
Our/their theater of seasons
Mounds View Swede writes: “When we have gone east in the spring, we have encountered an early taste of spring which went beyond just cherry blossoms. We visited a nearby Brookside Gardens in Maryland to see what the gardeners there created. The variety of tulips and their massive displays were very impressive to me.
“I like to photograph blossoms when they are lit from behind and have a glow to them.
“Our earliest spring flowers here are just now starting to come up and bloom. I will have to visit them with my camera to see if I have any luck getting some nice photos.”
Lost . . . and found
Leading to: The Permanent Paternal Record
Twitty of Como reports: “Well, I’m happy to report I found Dad’s burial flag [BB, 3/30/2017]. It was in that old steamer trunk, just as I’d surmised, and none the worse for it. I’ve been busy since, trying to come up with a plan for a display case for it, and, in my spare time, trying to find the three empty shell casings given to me by the American Legion Honor guard at his funeral. I found them today!
“I’ve got some great old oak boards, cut from trees on family land that I can make it from. I want the display case to include the three empty shell casings; a 1945 family photo with my sisters, mom and him and me in matching Navy uniforms; and his Navy rating patch and insignia. It should be a fun project if I can pull it all together.
“Dad didn’t leave us much in the way of material things. This will be something I can pass on.”
Band Name of the Day: Skunk Oil
Website of the Day: Skunk Oil