How far back?
D. Ziner writes: “One of my earliest memories was my baptism.
“I don’t recall going into our small upstairs bathroom, but I do remember sitting in the generously filled tub while many strange people filed in and towered above me. The men held their Bibles, and one read from his copy while the women held washcloths or hankies on top of their heads.
“I remember staring down at my submerged underwear and just feeling embarrassed by the whole idea of being the semi-naked object of this gathering. My mother was close by, so I don’t think fear was the reason this was seared into my young brain.
“I think the officiating Brother held the back of my head while I was briefly pushed under the water, and I think I remember the comfort of a wrapped towel afterward, but those parts are a bit fuzzy. [Bulletin Board interjects: No pun intended, we trust!]
“The clearest memory is still that image of my underwater underwear.
“The experts tell us that what we remember is the last recollection and not the event itself. In that case, some of the details might have shifted over time. But 60-some years after my baptism, I got the opportunity to tour that house, and even though that bathroom had undergone some remodeling, the layout of the fixtures was the same — and I felt a twinge of that same chagrin.”
How far back? (responsorial x2)
Lawyergirl of St. Paul: “Poet X of PDX’s memory of the baby chickens saying ‘peep, peep, peep’ [BB, 11/2/2016] reminded me of a more recent memory. A year or two ago, my sister, now deceased, gave me a pack of Marshmallow Peeps Tombstones. I looked at her and misquoted an old Tombstone Pizza ad: ‘What do you want on your tombstone? … Peep! Peep! Peep!’
“Regarding Grandson of The Gram With a Thousand Rules’ memory [BB, 11/7/2016]: I have been told a similar story; age not yet 3, about the same time as my Easter memories, but not something I remember. Grandma’s husband died, and we went to the visitation. Mom held me up to the casket, wondering what I understood about death, and asked: ‘Does Alan look like he’s sleeping?’
” ‘No! He’s dead!’ I replied.
“When Dad died, she told that story to many people.”
Another close encounter of the natural kind, reported by Lady from East Maplewood: “Took this in my back yard this morning, 11/6/2016.”
The little treasures
A few weeks ago, before we announced our departure from the non-Sunday pages of the Pioneer Press, we heard from Joan Long and Family: “We are writing you today because on Nov. 8, 2016, our mother celebrates her 90th birthday. She has been an avid reader of your newspaper since she moved into her home in 1955. She enjoys the old pictures that are published in Bulletin Board and shares them with our family. Could you please publish this in Bulletin Board and surprise her on her 90th birthday? [Bulletin Board says: We certainly can, and are proud to do so — though not in the newspaper, today, but here at BBonward.com.]
“Evelyn Ida Remackel (maiden name Loeffler) was born at home on November 8, 1926, at 475-1/2 Lafond, in Saint Paul, Minnesota. Mom has told us the story of her birth many times. When the ambulance arrived, the driver said: ‘I come for one, and I take two back.’ She weighed only 4 pounds, and the nurses at Ancker Hospital baptized her ‘Tinesee’ under a water faucet.
“Happy 90th Birthday, Mom, with love from all your family.
“This photo of Mom is dated 1929.”
Not not exactly what he had in mind?
Christy of Menomonie, Wisconsin: “My ‘to-do’ list for Thanksgiving prep hangs by a magnet on the fridge.
“Hubby was reading all the chores I had assigned to myself. I thought perhaps a wave of guilt had overtaken him as he read it, but this is what he said: ‘Are you sure there isn’t something else I can’t help you with?’
“Was that just a slip of syntax, or a Freudian slip?”
BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: You know Hubby better than we do!
IGHGrampa: “After seeing that Swiffer commercial for the umpteenth time, I’ve concluded that we don’t need to buy that stuff. Just wait, and in a bit, someone will deliver a big box of it right on your doorstep. You don’t even need to order it. Some friendly home genie will just come and bless you with a gift of it.
“Life is good.”
Today’s helpful hint
Naomi: “I emailed Mary Hunt, who writes the column ‘Everyday Cheapskate’: ‘Every oven thermometer I have ever had was difficult to use. The base was always too small, and they tipped over. It was difficult to set it upright when it was hot, and using hot pads or tongs or whatever was mega frustrating. I see the one you show has a hook at the top, but then that would mean the rack is above it, thus making the thermometer difficult to see. Can you find an example of a decent oven thermometer that has big writing and won’t tip over.’
“She answered: ‘Dear Naomi … I think you would be thrilled with an infrared non-contact digital laser thermometer. In a way it’s like taking a picture of any inanimate object. Such a handy gadget to use when cooking and barbecuing; performing auto maintenance, doing home repairs, or checking the exact temperature inside your oven. The Etekcity Lasergrip 774 Infrared Thermometer measures temperatures all the way from -58 F to 716 ℉. You just point at the space you want to measure, line up the laser, then press the trigger. Instantly it reads the temperature of that exact spot — and shows it to you in very large numbers. I’m confident this might be exactly what you’re looking for. About $17.
” ‘It was great to hear from you and I hope this helps.’ ”
The sign on the road to the cemetery said “Dead End”
The Man from Milaca, “now hibernating in Fort McCoy, Florida — finding humor in grave situations”: “This is not a Photoshop job. This cemetery, complete with ‘Dead End’ sign, is in Eureka, Florida — about 3/4 mile from the automotive supply store off Highway 315.
“I wish I had gotten a picture of the cemetery in Ramsey, Minnesota, I think it is. That one is appropriate. It’s on Barium Road.”
Now & Then
Kathy S. of St. Paul: “On Tuesday, I will be an election judge. It is a long day, and Presidential elections are the busiest.
“Before I became gluten-sensitive, I used to stop at a gas station on the way to my polling place to get coffee and a sweet roll for breakfast, muttering ‘Here comes the judge,’ a la Flip Wilson. Then I explained to younguns who Flip Wilson was.
“To get in the mood for the election, here is a picture of my red, white and blue LED lights.”
BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: And this, if you don’t know, is who Flip Wilson (December 8, 1933 – November 25, 1998) was:
Older Than Dirt?
Honey Bee of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin: “Subject: OTD, alumni division
“I received the glossy, semi-annual alumni magazine from the small college I attended for the first two years of my post-high-school education. For reasons too numerous to mention (mainly cost — and, oh yes, that boyfriend…), I transferred to the major state university closer to home (Go, Badgers!) after my sophomore year.
“When I do a quick scan through the small-college alumni magazine, I still recognize most names of people in my class in the ‘updates’ or ‘in memoriam’ sections. I know I am kept on the mailing list in the hopes that I will give them some kind of occasional donation, or, better yet, include them in my will. Neither has happened yet. Matter of fact, they’re probably in the hole when it comes to cost-effectiveness of the magazine’s efforts.
“The only names I recognize in the large-university alumni mag are the glitterati most of us would know who have gone on to great fame and fortune. And forget about me recognizing any name in the long lists of donors, memorials, etc. As I was just a small worker bee in that education hive, I doubt that my name would conjure up a glimmer of recognition to anyone, should it appear in print. (P.S. The Honest Man and I have donated to this university in many ways, not the least of which is getting three kids to graduate from there, all of whom have become decent, employed citizens.)
“The main thing that is similar in both alumni magazines is that my class year is much closer to the front of the year-by-year listings of graduate updates than it is to the middle or most recent. What a sobering revelation.
“Yikes, I am OTD!”
Band Name of the Day: Underwater Underwear — or: The Freudian Slips
Website of the Day, from Menomonie Grandpa (commenting on our having identified “the video [of Sam Snead’s swing that] every golfer should watch all winter long, and before every round next year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BJsZcGatEo“): “The video every golfer should see is W.C. Fields’s ‘The Golf Specialist’ on YouTube. There’s lots of copies, but I can’t provide the link.” Here’s one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxbUdctPi80