How many senior citizens does it take to change a battery in a smoke alarm?

Know thyselves!
Or: Older Than Dirt?

Christy of Menomonie, Wisconsin: “How many senior citizens does it take to change a battery in a smoke alarm? Evidently more than I thought. Plus a call to an electrician!

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When a “Lazy GenXer” tidies up her living room, she dusts off a happy memory every time.

The Permanent Grandfatherly/Granddaughterly Record

Aggie Girl: “Subject: One person’s ‘junk’ …

“I was dusting my living room today — something I do all too rarely. (What can I say? I’m a lazy GenXer, not a hard-working OTD type … but that isn’t the point.)

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Want to enjoy your round of golf? Don’t worry about might show up on your scorecard!

Today’s helpful hint

Email from Donald: “Subject: The best advice I ever got.

“Rich worked for years in the pro shop at Tartan Park, but now he’s charming customers at Eagle Valley. I hadn’t seen him since he changed locations, but when my sons and I played there recently, he had his usual smiling face to accompany a warm greeting.

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Two rules of Clown Alley: (1) You don’t rat out another clown. (2) You don’t eat sardines — ever!

Clowning around

Tim Torkildson writes: “Subject: My First Can of Sardines.

“Long immured, as a child, by my mother’s staid Norwegian cookery, when I at last burst the shackles of home and joined up with the circus, I craved the finest and most exotic of cuisines. On a First of May’s salary, this was hard to conjure up; $90 a week, even back in 1971, did not allow me to order bowls brimming with vichyssoise or platters of filet mignon very often. Mostly I subsisted on a grilled cheese and bowl of tomato soup at Woolworth’s for 75 cents.

Continue reading “Two rules of Clown Alley: (1) You don’t rat out another clown. (2) You don’t eat sardines — ever!”

“From the minute we went through Dayton’s heavy revolving doors, I was in hog heaven.”

Now & Then

Little Sister writes: “Even though I haven’t darkened any doors of the Nicollet Mall in Minneapolis for years, I am sad to hear that Macy’s is considering closing the store. It’s another bittersweet reminder of a bygone era — not for Macy’s, but for what once was Dayton’s flagship store.

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A funny thing happened on the way to the ballot box . . .

Dumb Customer Jokes
Polling Place Division — plus!

IGHGrampa: “Some things, you just should not joke about.

“I finished marking my ballot and took it over to the aide at the ballot box. ‘Just slide it right into the old paper shredder here?’ I quipped to him. His rather icy non-reaction let me know how my joke was received. Maybe he’s heard the joke before.161110bbcut-ivotedsticker

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