Author: Bulletin Board

Another message to book thieves: ‘Who steals this book, the devil shall cook’!

Today’s helpful hint
Cursed Book Thieves Division (IV)

Here again, continuing her series, is Gammafaye: “If you have been wondering how small the ‘Small Book of Book Curses’ is, here is a selfie of said book:

161103bbcut-bookofcurses

“And here is book curse No. 4. An early-20th-century American rhyme is the only credit for this one:

“Who folds a leaf down,

“the devil toast brown:

“who makes mark or blot,

“the devil toast hot:

“who steals this book,

“the devil shall cook.

“The next book curse tags a book thief as an object of loathing.  I know I said this of the first curse, but I really do not think, when it comes to a book thief, that these curses are unreasonable.”

The Permanent Daughterly Record
Or: Oh, and was her face red!

The Gram With a Thousand Rules writes: “Many years ago, a neighbor asked me if I would please take care of her little girl one afternoon for six weeks. She wanted to pay me, but I declined. I told her I would be happy to help her out as a favor.

Continue reading “Another message to book thieves: ‘Who steals this book, the devil shall cook’!”

Even in the land of palm trees and sunshine, is life in November ‘merely a memory, a fleeting mist of a passing spirit’?

 

Our theater of seasons

The Man from Milaca — “In the land of palm trees and sunshine” — reports: “Subject: The change of seasons.

“Towards sunset, yesterday, I went for a ride. First stop: the cemetery — appropriate at Halloween. Passed some decorated homes, but not many. The cemetery was quiet, rather unkempt, weeds along the fence. I can’t help wondering why it is not maintained more meticulously.

Continue reading “Even in the land of palm trees and sunshine, is life in November ‘merely a memory, a fleeting mist of a passing spirit’?”

Every time he writes a check, he remembers good old Miss Drain — ‘tough old bird, single, no-nonsense.’

 

One for the books
Leading to: Our times

Mounds View Swede: “My seventh-grade Civics teacher, Miss Drain (in Illinois), was a tough old bird, single, no-nonsense. We boys joked about her being an ex-Marine sergeant.

“She insisted I learn to write legibly or she would not accept my homework. I tried typing it, which was a learning experience in itself, but she would not accept it. On my first report card that year, I got a ‘D’ in Civics due to the unaccepted homework. What excuse could I offer to my parents? She wasn’t asking anything unreasonable.

Continue reading “Every time he writes a check, he remembers good old Miss Drain — ‘tough old bird, single, no-nonsense.’”

Halloween EXTRA!

Our theater of seasons

Halloween (pronounced with a short “a” … please!) email from our Official Attorney, Mr. Tulkinghorn: “I was thinking I’d wait until tomorrow to send the dreary November poem from Thomas Hood, but then I thought: ‘Today is such a beautiful autumn day, with the yellow-red-green palette of leaves below and the cloudless azure sky above, I should celebrate this rather than moan and groan about the coming months.’

“So, here’s to celebrating Halloween — and to hell with November. To brighten the day, check out this Jerry Seinfeld Halloween riff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MarBVyZVe9s

“All the best to the new BB!”

BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: Thanks. And, if you don’t mind,  counselor, you’ll keep that November poem to yourself!

Winter is too long already!

Our pets, ourselves

161031bbcut-halloweendogHappy Halloween from Little Canada!
Love,
Darth ‘Norman’ Vader

Book thieves, beware! Let you be struck with palsy, & all your members blasted.

Today’s helpful hint
Cursed Book Thieves Division (cont.)
Gammafaye: “I am hoping to share all 12 of the curses from ‘The Small Book of Book Curses.’ Just so you all know, there are a few that do not involve fire, hell or the devil. Here is today’s offering, from the monastery of San Pedro in Barcelona: ‘For him that stealeth or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand & rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, & all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy, & let there be no surcease to his agony till he sink to dissolution. Let book worms gnaw his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, & when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of hell consume him for ever.’ What a fun bunch of guys at that monastery!”

Continue reading “Book thieves, beware! Let you be struck with palsy, & all your members blasted.”